A Comics Coming Out

I just read that in an upcoming September issue, venerable Archie Comics plans to introduce the first openly gay character. He will be called Kevin Keller. So, as a long-standing reader of Archie Comics (I still occasionally treat myself at the end of a tedious grocery shop to an issue of Betty and Veronica Double Digest), I pondered how this new character might influence the dynamics of Riverdale. Here's what I think:

Kevin will develop a crush on Archie, giving Betty and Veronica yet another person to fight for Archie's affections. Archie, of course, will be naively oblivious to the attention and will still happily pursue all the hot babes on the beach.

Reggie, with a more finely tuned gaydar, will be simultaneously offended and jealous, because shouldn't everyone be enamoured of his inherent fabulousness, even if he wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole?

Moose, the traditionalist and real man's man, will avoid Kevin like the plague. And take comfort that he doesn't have to worry about Midge with this one.

Dilton will want to dig into the whole nature/nurture debate. Are we born gay? Is it part of our genetic code?

African American Chuck will wonder what all the fuss is about. Hasn't he been living as a successful minority in Riverdale for years?

And Jughead, in a brilliant awakening, will discover this is why he has never had an interest in girls. He and Kevin will eventually become a couple (once Kevin realizes that his love for Archie will remain unrequited), causing Big Ethel to have a mental breakdown.